A year ago I learned something shocking about myself: I was a boundaryless person. I found myself focused so much on being loving and unselfish, that I forget my own limits and limitations.
I was exhausted from never saying no out of fear. I felt I did not have the freedom to express my own thoughts and opinions. I was unable to manage my own feelings and detach from the manipulative emotions of others. Sadly, I had not taken ownership of my life.
Soon, I had to learn how to apply boundaries appropriately to achieve the relationships and purposes that have been intended for me. I wanted to live a life of love, freedom, responsibility, and service.
The ability to set clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle.
In relationships, boundaries define who we are and who we are not, which impacts every part of our lives.
Fences are physical boundaries with the message: this is where my property begins. Boundaries define what is me and what is not me. They show me where I end and someone else begins. This leads to a sense of ownership, which gives us freedom. Boundaries indicate what we are responsible for and what we are not responsible for.
Boundaries help us:
- distinguish our property so that we can take care of it;
- to “guard our heart with all diligence”;
- keep the good in (what will nurture us) and the bad out (what will harm us);
- guard our treasures.
Whether it is a dysfunctional family, the world, your own religious self-righteousness, or the brokenness of being lost. That way, you can come from being an unhealthy person without boundaries to a healthy person with boundaries.
Seek the Devine help to protect your heart and to guide you with wisdom. Find that you too can have the ability to say no when it is beyond my limit.
*Concept from the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
Our desperate search for answers can sometimes blind us to the ultimate answer – the source of all things. Allow me to borrow some wisdom from the great King Solomon who was wise to acknowledge the source of His blessings. If we believe whole-heartedly in the source, there is then no room for fear or doubt, for we know that “from Him and through Him and for Him are all things”.
With the pursuit of a goal comes obstacles, challenges, mistakes to be made and lessons to be learned.
This journey is no different.
The process of seeking wisdom entails being aware, asking for assistance, receiving advice, being cautious with assumptions, practicing acceptance, and perfecting application – all these actions must be performed deliberately and diligently, with focus and intention. That being the case, another “to-do” may not seem appealing; but you will be happy to know that when it comes to affirmation, the only action required is that we receive it with open hearts.
So to you, friend, you can stand affirmed, assured and secure in the knowledge that though the answers to some questions remain uncertain, Devine supply of wisdom, strength and guidance is certain. It is vast and abundant, and knows no bounds. That promise, is a clear picture of Devine limitless resource of wisdom, which is yours to claim.