Most people have built successful businesses on the back of self-help and as a result, it has become a big deal, especially on social media. Self-help gurus from Oprah, Iyanla Vanzant, Lisa Nicols, Tony Robins to myself (yep, me too😎), preach ‘becoming the BEST version of ourselves’. The billion dollar question is: why are we so desperate to be ‘the best versions of ourselves’?
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So as I was saying: TikTok alone is full of tips for self-improvement, helping users find new ways to be more productive, peaceful, efficient, self-compassionate, and well-rounded every time we switch on the app. We’re prompted from self-help accounts on the socials to level up our vibrations to attract and align with the same.
Self-help hashtags are growing in popularity, especially on TikTok – #WorkOnYourself has 119.5 million views, #GetYourLifeTogether has over 40 million and #SelfLoveLifestyle has nearly three million. It seems like everyone is scrolling for self-improvement, and it’s made so much easier with seemingly countless videos at your fingertips – but the pressure to be better all the time can get overwhelming. Can’t it?
The reality is simple, you’d be much happier if you invested in self-improvement and self-care because you wanted to find balance rather than the perfection that is presented.
Gillian McMichael, author and founder of Full Circle Global
Surely we can’t all be ‘bettering ourselves’ all the time? And at what point does our desire to be better actually become a burden? Personally, I get it, there’s always room for growth if we allow ourselves the space to do so – there’s past/generational trauma to heal from, there’s toxicity in our personal lives to grow out of, and, there are just versions of ourselves we wouldn’t to be part of the glorious future we’re working hard towards. I get that. It makes sense to want to show up into the world whole, healed, secure, peaceful, grateful, mindful, joyful, abundant in every way. I get it.
Social media can make us feel inferior
However, “…when it comes to self-help, most of us want a quick fix – somebody to tell us what to do and make things better”, suggests Gillian McMichael, author and founder of Full Circle Global.
“We are in an age of social media overload – we compare and contrast ourselves to others and we want what they have. Never has there been a time like now, where keeping up with the Joneses has a whole new meaning. Social media platforms showcase how we can get our goals, change our lives and better ourselves. But because it is in a short 30-second clip, we don’t know how to apply this to our own lives.”
She’s got a point because this constant bombardment of self-improvement content can become exhausting.
“With social feed overload, it is difficult to decide what top tips or ideas we should take on and do something with, as the next day there will be thousands more reels telling us to do something different – it’s confusing and unsustainable,” says McMichael. “Quick fixes never work in any aspect of your life, especially your wellbeing – I think this approach adds pressure and can give false expectations.”
We only see the best bits
Max Hovey is an influencer who focuses on empowering the LGBTQ+ community and promoting body positivity and self-compassion.
“The idea of being your perfect self has always been a pressure from social media,” he says, adding that our obsession with self-improvement is the “natural evolution” of this.
Quick fixes never work in any aspect of your life, especially your wellbeing.
“Everyone has their own struggle, and the pressure constantly to be ‘getting your life together’ is incredibly toxic,” he suggests. “The idea of ‘having it together’ doesn’t exist. I find it unlikely that the people creating this content have it together and don’t have other stuff going on in the background.
“We are showing all the great things in life and not showing anything else that is going on, making other people feel bad about themselves.”
The business of being perfect
Regardless of these views, let’s be honest, not all self-help on social media is toxic. As McMichael says: “I think there are a handful of skilled professionals sharing their tips and techniques with a wider audience. But there are a lot of people jumping on the bandwagon because wellness, self-improvement and transforming your life is in-vogue now more than ever.”
In recent years, “The awareness of mental health has significantly grown and everyone wants to better themselves,” McMichael says. “Hence, we are more informed, meaning these topics are now more relatable.”
Point to Ponder
According to McMichael, one should better themselves for the right reasons – and in a sustainable way. “The reality is simple, you’d be much happier if you invested in self-improvement and self-care because you wanted to find balance rather than the perfection that is presented. If you are looking to change your life, then find an academically qualified coach or spiritual leader or an accountability partner who’s been through some things in life similar to yours, to support you – rather than somebody on TikTok who is not qualified or experienced enough to give you advice on what you should do.”
The original article on this topic first appeared on The Portugal News.
As we begin the festive season and contemplate our New Year’s resolutions and what not, my hope is that we re-evaluate our motives for personal development, lest we risk becoming mere statistics comprising fad-obsessed individuals who chase after an outcome. Remember; you are possible, I am possible. Let’s be possible together and live the phenomenal life God created for you and I in the beginning, one pure motive at a time.
From my heart to you and yours; love, peace and wisdom.
Signed,
Vicky Meg
Phenomenal Magazine 
Never has there been a time like now, where keeping up with the Joneses has a whole new meaning!🙄
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