Time flies! We’re already on day 14 of our 30-day December personal development challenge dubbed #PM30DayChallenge! As I’ve mentioned before, this is the second year I’m steering this challenge whose main objective is to help us weed out and/or work through the baggage we don’t need, in order to achieve a more productive and purposeful life in the new year.
That said, we’re talking pain, today, and how to overcome it all and achieve overall wellness, in the spirit of #WellnessWednesday.😎
Yeah, I do mean the reason why you can’t fall in love or receive love. Yeah, I do mean the reason why you’d rather stay intoxicated than sober. Yeah, I do mean the reason why you think having lots and lots of meaningless sex is cool. And yes, I do want to talk about why you burry yourself in work and a whole lot of other things in your life.
According to television host of “Iyanla Fix My Life” (on OWN) and life coach, Iyanla Vanzant, this is the definition of pain:
Usually when we’re hurting, we reach out for something external to calm it down – a drink, a cigarette, a man, a credit card, a new dres or car, etc, and then put off the healing process. We’d rather mask than deal with and heal from our past painful experiences.
“First of all, pain manifests to get your attention. But it doesn’t have to be that way,” says Iyanla.
Question is; can people be in pain and not know it? “Yes, except often, they know it, but call it something else – frustration, sexual cravings, hunger, addiction, workaholic tendencies…”
Who knew horniness was also a form of pain! The point is; pain is beyond the physicality. Pain happens because something else is going on on the inside that we need to pay attention to, deal with and heal.
Until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed.
That’s to say that we mask pain when we begin to think that we wouldn’t hurt if only we had A, B, C… and then our quest for those things begin.” Newsflash: That’s a form of bleeding, Iyanla adds.
“If only ‘they’ would do this and that, then I wouldn’t feel like this”, is a form of bleeding.
“If I only could lose this, stop that, gain this, go there…” I wouldn’t feel like this…
Bleeding simply means that your life force is leaking out and it’s thus not creating or producing new life for you.
Another big question is: Can people bleed and not know it? And is it possible to stop the bleeding?
“Absolutely. Pain is not normal. Or let’s rather say, it is normal but not natural. It’s normal for us in this society to live in pain, mask it and call it something else.
Those are the times people say things like, ‘Oh, don’t feel like that.’ Huh? Are you kidding me? I already feel like this!
So we mask our pain because society begins to judge how we deal with it. People will say stuff like; “But how can you do that? That’s not right! How dare you?”
The secret we fail to learn is: In order to overcome pain, you have to feel it, deal with it, and then heal it. Feal. Deal. Heal.
If you don’t feel it from the core of your being, without numbing it, it won’t go anywhere. Rub your hands on your sides, and then call up the guilt, the shame, the fear, the insecurities and the inadequacies.
Take Away: Inadequacy is often the root of pain. When we don’t feel enough, we begin to seek things to mask the pain that that feeling of inadequacy causes us. Sadly, we don’t get well, never feel better – past the pain – if we don’t feel, deal with and heal the pain.
So with these few days left before year-end, what baggagedo you need to offload? What do you think that’ll cost you? How do you think you’ll feel if you let all that pain stay in the past and decide to begin to livea purposefully happy life? What do you need to do to open yourself up for love, a better job, buy a house, get out of an abusive relationship, begin treatment for a chronic illness that you’ve been stalling on and start taking care of yourself like you never have?
Take a notepad and a pen and write the answers to the above questions and see how your mood, perception and overall outlook on your future changes. Try it. It’s a wonder deal!
#YouArePossible #IAmPossible #LetsBePossibleTogether