I recently learnt that there are three conversations that occur within us before we even speak to others. The first conversation is between you and God, then there is the conversation that goes on between you and the enemy, and then there’s the last one – self-talk. These are very crucial when in pursuant of a dream, any dream.
If we expect awfulness from life, awfulness shows up every time, but if we expect greatness, then greatness tends to emerge instead, every. single. time!
Allow me to return to the scenario of the self-talk, because that’s how you manifest a dream or kill it.
When you find yourself waking up after a restless night saying, “It’s going to be a long day”, be grateful for being able to hear yourself say it out loud (the power of mindfulness) and then instead of indulging in gloom-and-doom tendencies, say to yourself, “I’ve had better nights of sleep, but it’s a new day, and I’m grateful for it. I have everything I need for life this day. Let’s see what unfolds.”
All of a sudden they’re selfish, entitled brats who just want money!
I’m guessing things would go better for you.
I know they go better for me when I do that.
When we make a habit of having a positive life-giving communication within us, we start believing in ourselves, because we understand that there’s something (or some-one) which resides within us – the Spirit – that is bigger than the mess on the outside. When we don’t, we allow the other, louder voices -which I’ve referred to before as the choir within – to capture our attention and frame the course of our days. Then sets in the foul mood that will leave you feeling like a looser.
I like to give examples pertaining to motherhood, so allow me…:-)
I distinctly recall a few Sundays ago when I attended a family event with my kids and then my little two-and-a-year old girl began her tantrums (which are usually cue for fatigue, sleep, hunger or emotional or physical discomfort), and one of the moms gave me the “pity-eye” before another beckoned with a distant smile; “How old is she?” trying so hard to sound sweet. I told her, before she quipped: “Oh, the difficult 2!”, as if reminiscing on her own experience with her kids when they were younger. The “eye lady” said; “Hope you’re ready for what’s coming with teenage-hood, my dear. The teen years are tough!”
I cringe at such talk over children because it means a parent is prophesying trouble over their children’s life. And guess what? That’s how we treat our daily lives and approach our big dreams – we go head-on negative with everything that happens in our lives.
“It’s like aliens come down and inhabit them, right? Like, what happened to my sweet, loving kids? All of a sudden they’re selfish, entitled brats who just want money! You’ll know what I mean one day, my dear!” the second mom said before running after her screaming little boy.
I’ve never really understood this tendency to declare awfulness over such a long period of time, but truth be told, that’s how we’re all wired – to think of and say the worst things over our lives first, before we nurture hope. That’s a long time to eat the bitter fruit of negative self-talk, don’t you think, especially because you anticipate it?
So this is my approach to life over mine or my children’s, based off of meditated thoughts like these:
This is going to be our best year yet. My partner and I are going to love parenting teenagers. My children are smart, kind and funny, and our family is going to have an awesome time while they’re teens. Whatever challenges we face as we parent teens, we will overcome together, and with love on our side.
It’s true that experience flows from expectation. If we expect awfulness from life, awfulness shows up every time, but if we expect greatness, then greatness tends to emerge instead, every. single. time!
So far, my life’s experiences – the good, the bad and the very ugly ones – have been a treasure, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Why? Because through each tear, sweat and heartache, I have tremendously grown mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically and even financially. I have learnt to nurture the conversations within, long before I knew how to channel them (self-talk, prayer, negative conversations I entertain within me with “the choir“).
I’ll soon do a full series on the power of the tongue and how it can alter the course of our dreams. But for now, I need you to begin speaking life into your life, your dreams and your loved ones’, rather than failure and trouble. Re-ignite the fire that came with the excitement of possessing that big dream, as we began our 52-day wellness and self-development course, #Mission52, in the first place. Imagine yourself at the finish line, and then picture yourself overcoming every single obstacle – within the process – with such grace. Does that restore peace within you, rather the anxiety that numbs you at the thought of all the rejections you anticipate once you begin/began to pursue that dream?
Learning how to believe in yourself begins with the conversations within you, and you’ll never manifest anything worth keeping until you begin to practice the mindfulness that comes with it (I’ll discuss this in one of the future posts – it’s pretty broad 🙂 ).
So what will you tell yourself about yourself this week, to help you manifest achieved goals, rather than a sense of failure? Share your experiences in the comments section below; how negative or positive self-talk has either helped speak and manifest life into your dreams or kill them altogether.
Remember; you are possible, I am possible, so let’s be possible together!