How important is wellness to you?
Very. Believe it or not; I’ve struggled for as long as I can remember with feeling good in my skin and looking after myself from the inside out. I feel the best when I’m in control of my overall well-being, from what I eat, keeping up with my regular physical exercises, taking care of my hair, my nails, my outward appearance and massages. For most people, massages are a luxury but for me, it is an essential routine for my well-being because it eliminates stress and helps with better blood circulation. I live for massages.
How do you stay well every day; physically, emotionally, financially savvy, mentally and spiritually?
If we switch the order around, I begin with the spiritual part at the start of each day. So once I sort out my spiritual well-being, I know I can go through whatever the day brings knowing it’s going to be okay no matter what because God’s it all under control, and that’s how I encourage others. So I can go ahead and do the total opposite of what my “mountain” looks like and “put my worship on”, work out, take a walk or do something relaxing and try to consciously keep my mind off what’s going on.
Having give-and-take relationships in which others can hold you accountable for your actions is also a great way to stay well from the inside out
That way, emotionally, mentally, physically, I stay grounded knowing that whatever issue I might be dealing with, God will give me the wisdom to deal with it the best way if I’m calm enough to listen. That’s how I stay well.
Why is it important for women – single, married mothers, single moms, single but in committed relationships & single and “searching” (lol, apparently the last one is a thing) – to stay well from the inside out? How can they apply/integrate their “wellness” into their daily lives with their professional and personal relationships?
No matter what your status is, you have to be well, and work towards that. In order to give anything you have to have it to give it. You can’t give what you don’t have yet. If you don’t take care of yourself, how can you successfully take care of someone else? Apply and integrate wellness by first starting with what works for you at home and what you enjoy doing, that you know gives you inner peace. None of it has to cost money. Begin with what you can afford to do and then work your way up. Having give-and-take relationships in which others can hold you accountable for your actions is also a great way to stay well from the inside out. Not that they would police how you run your life, but you need to have people who speak into your life and you can do the same for, keeping each in other in check, as regards how best you live your lives, so that it’s not a one-sided effort. It’s really important to invest in such relationships. Such are the people who will tell you to your face that you’re missing it somewhere and that you need to get back on track, with no hard feelings, or cheer you on when you need it.
Would you say you are 100% well/whole? How did you achieve that and do you feel that you need validation from, say, your husband (or even your children and family) to “feel” completely well from the inside out?
No ma’am, I’m not 100% whole at all. I’m God’s constant work-in-progress. There are always areas in one’s life that need constant work if you’re serious about self-development and being what you’ve been created to be. There are different levels in life and there are always different things that pop up that I have to deal with in a way that leaves me whole. However, only until you come against certain situations would you know that you’ve dealt with that area of your life, in the way you deal with and get out of it. So I find that I’m working towards such daily. I stay committed to being whole from the inside out. I’m not perfect at all and will never be. With that in mind, I have committed to keeping myself in check. As far as the validation go, who doesn’t like validation from their husband and children, right? I know I do, every now and then, but I don’t lean on it. I believe that if you can take praises, you can take criticisms, and I find myself struggling with that at times. Nonetheless, I’ve learnt not to lean so much on the validation, because I can only be what God created me to be. I obviously like to hear, “I love you, mommy.” “I love you, babe!” every now and then; not that I don’t know that they love me but it’s nice to hear that love professed and affirmed.
What does self-worth and self-value mean to you and how do you exude both?
The words themselves are self-explanatory. Valuing yourself and finding yourself worthy is simple; you have to first know that there’s value in who you are and that you’re worthy of good things including love. You can’t expect anyone else to love, value and treat you as though you were worthy of that, if you yourself doesn’t believe you deserve it all. If you value yourself and believe you’re worthy of the best in life, you won’t let anyone treat you any kind of way, because you know you deserve better and that you’re worthy of it. That’s how you exude both self-value and self-worth; first identify whether or not you value yourself and if you understand your price, which boils down to worth and love for self. Scripture says you’re far much worth more than rubies. Do you know that? Do you understand what that means? That’s when no amount of money could buy your love. That’s when you take care of yourself from the inside-out and show that wellness to the world, because you know there’s something priceless inside of you that’s worth sharing with the world. That’s self-value. That’s self-worth. That’s the script from which I operate as far as self-love and self-value is concerned.
You mentioned that you follow a specific diet plan, what does your weekly menu look like and why the food choices?
I started a strict health program a year ago, but have only been consistent with it for the past three to four months, and it works for me. I work with an awesome lady who walks this health journey with me, helps me stay accountable and committed, which keeps me on par. So my weekly menu consists of lots of greens, shakes and loads of water and proteins. That’s basically it.
Could you say a little something about how to cultivate the kind of self-confidence and high self-esteem you exude?
Cultivating self-confidence and high self-esteem begins with what you know God says about you. Just like one knows their name because they’ve heard it over and over again as a child, they should know what God says about them. Once you know that truth, you can recite it to yourself over and over again and you soon begin to exude what it is He says about you. Also genuinely affirming and pouring into other people confidence and self-esteem is attractive not just to the world but to self. It reminds you that you’re able to identify and edify others and being consumed by self. You’d be doing to others what you already do to yourself. There’s an amount of inner peace that comes with doing to others or telling others what you’d also like to hear, without expecting to hear it. Once that settles in, you won’t feel shy to compliment and encourage another. So my confidence and high self-esteem comes from the little and big truths I know about what God says about me. That’s not to say that I have it all together but I’m saying I do not have a problem complementing or encouraging, or edifying another.